Its been a couple months since i have posted anything here. Sorry. Life has been happening.
“I want to show all of this to you, i want to share all of this with you, i just don’t know who you are or if you are even out there. This thought haunts me and scares me to no end.”
“And as far as I can tell there is no relief from this in sight. I’m ready for some redemption God. You may say “but Casey look at all the good things in your life right now..Friends, Family, Mari, SF, a Job, a home by the beach” And i would reply with “yes yes i know.. those things are amazing and i could not ask for more when it comes to all of that” But not sharing all of that with someone is what’s killing me.”
I wrote those things on my last entry here.. and much to my surprise i can actually say that God heard or read those things.. and has started to answer my cries, and I’m pretty blown away by the person He provided and timing of it all.
A while back when I knew I was going to start dating again I just asked God plainly to bring along a certain type of person.. I asked the following things; someone that knew Hope or of Hope and myself, someone that could somehow mourn along with me is some way, someone that’s good with kids, someone who loves God most, someone who loves people and community, and someone that could walk into all of this gracefully. Ashley is basically all of those things.. It’s remarkable. God knows what He is doing, and God did all of it in His timing and His way. I tried to make things happen within my own timing and my own strength.. but realized that was exhausting and gave it over to Him. His way is better.
I will write more about how we met and how this all came to be one day. But i just wanted to let you all know I’m OK. I’m laughing more, my joy is returning and though it is fall.. my life feels more like spring lately, and i’m completely OK with that. Just taking it one day at a time. Thanks God. You are good.
This is my girlfriend Ashley. She fills my heart with joy and is making my world warm again. Im constantly in awe of her beauty inside and out. She is truly a gift. I didn't think or know if I would ever experience all of this again. But I am. And it's better than I could've imagined. It takes a special person to walk into my whole world and she is doing it with so much grace and love. Thanks God.