One of the greatest honors and joys in my life is being Mari’s mother. And I do not take for granted the ability I have to stay at home with her. I quit my job the day we got the call for her, and I haven’t looked back. Of course there are days I miss working, days when I miss being my own person, adult interaction and wearing high heels. But I treasure every moment I have with her, and I would rather sing the wheels on the bus a thousand times and have peanut butter in my hair, than to miss out on special moments with her everyday.
Being a stay at home Mom is wonderful, but not always easy. There is always a mess to clean up, dirty dishes, laundry overflowing, and toys EVERYWHERE. Some days I feel like the only words I speak are “No Mari, don’t do that, don’t touch, no yelling, no throwing fits”. There are nights when Casey gets home from work and I realize I haven’t even thought about dinner, much less looked in a mirror. Some days I am so overwhelmed, and I am left with the feeling that my best efforts are not really the best after all .
Today was that day. I had a hundred things on my to-do list, laundry that is overflowing, floors that desperately need to be mopped, and zero energy (and patience) to keep up with a toddler. So instead of putting on one of her favorite shows for her while I hurried around the house completing my tasks, I said “lets go for a walk”. So we did. We left the mess and the to-do list and we walked to our local coffee shop Andytown. I ordered the tea latte for myself and steamed milk for her. We sat at the table eating a pumpkin chocolate chip scone and had the best time drinking our “coffees”. She was so excited to have her very own coffee, she held onto it like it was a prized possession and kept saying “Mari coffee, Mari coffee”. We walked home hand in hand, pointing out shapes on the houses and colors on the flowers. She hummed and sang little songs the whole time, and said hello to everyone that passed by. These are the kind of moments that fill my heart with so much joy, the moment her face lit up when she realized I bought a coffee just for her, and how she couldn’t stop smiling because she felt like such a big girl sitting with Mama. Holding her hand as we walked, tears filled my eyes because I realized how blessed I am, for her, for this life, and for the honor of being a stay at home Mom (even with a messy house). I know that these moments, even the mundane ones, are the ones that count.