What Sarah Said

How do we handle death?  We Don’t.

We ignore it.

We run from it.

We try and prevent it.

We fear it.

We hate it.

Death will most likely find us all. Even those of us who have the promise of eternity, death is still waiting for us. I am confident that death is the most difficult thing that we will face in our life.

My mind has been filled with these thoughts lately. Good Friday is almost here and i feel more acquainted with this day than ever. Mary watched her Son die, James watched his brother die, the disciples watched their master and Lord die. I watched my love die just over 4 months ago. Ben Gibbard wrote the line “love is watching someone die” in the song “What Sarah Said”.  I wish more than ever that i did not have to watch her die, but i am also very thankful that i got to be the last face see saw before stepping into eternity and seeing Jesus, her master, and her creator. I have a sense of what those that loved and watched Jesus die were feeling. They felt fear and hate and i’m sure they wanted to run from it, ignore it, act like it didn’t happen, yet you replay it over and over in your mind to see if it was real. They had his promise that He would return again in the coming days. I have the promise that i will see her once again in heaven.. when all things are made new and right. I do not know when that day will be, but i yearn for it.

We used to listen to the DCFC song “what sarah said” and just stare at each other, long, paused moments. Much of the song talks about watching someone die in a hospital room. We were used to hospital rooms, they were a bitter sweet reality in our lives. We would spend hours watching lame TV shows and talking about our dreams and plans, talk about each doctor or nurse that came in and roll our eyes and their sometimes ridiculous questions or poorly placed jokes. I think we both thought she might pass away in a hospital room, surrounded by machines and doctors. Instead, she passed away in my arms, in our bed, in a home we loved and just moments after we had told each other how much we loved each other. I knew that some day i might be the one to watch her die, but i never wanted to fully believe it. I wanted to run from it, ignore it, hate it, fear it, prevent it. But i could not, and she could not.

Death is coming for us all. Don’t waste the precious life that He has given us here. Live a full life of love and scrape up as much Joy as you can. Life here is hard and painful but there are moments of joy, glimpses of how things are supposed to be, find those and hold them close. Never lose Hope.

What Sarah Said

4 thoughts on “What Sarah Said

  1. Diane Teeple says:

    Tears to my eyes, to know the love you both have for each other gives hope to those how haven’t experienced true love. You give me strength in your writing to grab everyday God gives us an not wholly in loneliness. Love you nephew Casey & Mari

  2. Beautiful….hard….sad and painfully true. She ( you both) made the most out of your life together. That has been an inspiration to me and many others, I’m sure. I will never lose Hope….ever.

  3. thankful sister in Christ says:

    This has touched me so profoundly. .. twenty minutes ago I was lying in my bathroom floor crying it to God asking him why he had not heard my cries. .. after so much trial and tribulation this last month I have felt so far from God and have felt a longing for his presence and will to be made clear for my life. .. this has given me hope… humbled abd restored my heart. ..to see such Faith and trust from a brother who has endured so much hurt has made me realize just how precious life is. .. and sometimes when we feel so far from God he will go to great lengths to restore us. .. for me it was this beautiful message. .. written with so much love that Haas spoke to my soul. .. thank you brother fir sharing your heart. .. good has used it to restore mine.

  4. Jay says:

    Hi Casey,
    I know you don’t know me but I attend reality SF and this summer one of my best friends (who also had CF) went to meet her Maker who she loved so beautifully. I attended the Good Friday service last night and for the first time in my life and I know it’s been through my sweet friend Jessica’s passing that I realized the gravity of His death for us and it is that death that makes it possible for us to be reunited with the ones we love and miss so much. Me and another friend had the honor of attending hopes memorial and then and now, we have found comfort in your words and honesty. Thank you for being raw and sharing, it has done wonders for many, I can attest to that. God bless and happy easter!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s