Everything all the time.

This transparency thing is not easy..  The quotes are all from Scary Close again. Thanks M.

 

“how else will we connect with people unless we let them know us”

I’ve been meeting people lately.. People of the opposite gender. Anytime it starts to happen I immediately want to go through and delete my Instagram and start a fresh one. I want to hide this blog, i want to cover up my past and just be a fresh slate. But i can’t, this is who i am. Realistically i could only keep that stuff from someone for a very short period of time. It would come up.. “hey what’s up with that child yelling in the background of our phone calls all the time?” / “What does that tattoo on your chest mean?” / “Why do you hang out with sooo many married people?”

 

“Characters only change when they live through a story”   

I figure i might as well keep it all out there and if someone can’t handle that stuff then i guess they shouldn’t be in my life. But it’s still tempting to hide all of it. My generation loves to only showcase our perfectly curated lives for the world to see, I can be fully guilty of this as well. Again though.. that would all be an act. I am so so thankful for my story and what i have experienced thus far in my life.

 

“It meant diving into the unknown, where there were very real dangers, but mostly rewards

It’s true.. I’m adopting a child, i was married for almost a decade, I married my high school / junior high sweetheart, I have her name across my wrist and another tattoo on my chest for her and will probably get another one in her memory. Who I am now is very much of who WE were. All that being said.. I’m also remodeling in a sense. Some things will stay the same and some things will change, I’m OK with that but I also don’t know that those things are at this point.  When you start a remodel you are usually aware of a few things you want to change and then once those walls come down you notice some other things that can use adjustments or improvements. I’m slowly doing this work.. and all of you are watching. That’s OK as well, there are some repairs we cant make on our own. No man is an Island.

 

Everything all the time.

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